Smiling Through Brokenness

Once, in a lively world of happiness, lived a girl who breathed to see the smile on everyone else’s faces… but hers. Beatrice was her name, given by her grandparents, for she was seen and known for being a bringer of joy. She drove miles to make a person smile. The spread of that happiness was far and wide.

Beatrice was not delusional but lived in illusion that the world would get rid of pain and brokenness if she spreads joy with her smile. However, that smile was not only featured outside the confines of her home. She forced her smile to make the world around her happy. She never let anyone know that she lived in sadness and anxiousness of the worst occurrence in her small home of unhappiness.

After her grandparents passed in a car crash, she could see the love among her parents gradually slip away. They now despised each other’s presence and lived in two separate corners of a studio flat. Beatrice tried as much to bring happiness into her home through acquiring high grades in school. She helped her mother in the household chores as she kidded around with her. She even helped her father in mending broken things around the place while cracking small jokes. But the happiness was only limited to the corners of the home and never came together as one happy family.

Beatrice was not only embarrassed by the brokenness of her family but was torn to watch that sadness unfold before her eyes. She made sure that the rest of the world lived happy and so she spread her smiles beyond her home.

One day, when Beatrice came home from school, she learned that her father had left to find love elsewhere. He wanted to stay connected with her and so left her a phone to call. She realised that was better than sadness looming in her home.

Her mother thereafter focused on herself and became a successful hairstylist. She seemed happier now and could provide well for her daughter. The mother and daughter duo had dance nights and game nights together. But as they went to bed besides each other, they secretly cried.

Beatrice’s mother was still lonely and longed to be loved by the one man she loved and married, and now lost, because of her depression. Beatrice cried because she longed for a happy family and did get one but a broken one. She spoke to her father on a weekly basis and even met him, on her way back from school, for a meal or an outing. They were happy until the times she had to bid him farewell at the end of those days.

Brokenness prevailed in her life and grew into her adult life. Beatrice stood at the brink of her career as a motivational speaker, when she awaited the arrival of a thought-to-be-late groom at the alter in her bridal attire. She watched her frail mother, and her old father and step-mother. No one knew how to give her hope.

The ceremony was small but it never began because of the absconding groom. The light of day slipped into the night but Beatrice couldn’t move an inch away from the wedding venue. Slowly tears from that happy girl were gushing for all to see.

The reason for an absent groom was unknown. Everything was forgotten over time by the attendees. But Beatrice couldn’t live on with that brokenness. She gave up on life, on happiness, and living up to her name. She couldn’t step out of her home to see another bout of laughter burst before her sad eyes.

Her heart grew weaker with loneliness after her mother passed. She could move on no longer. One awful day, her soul freed her from that sadness and brokenness, and left her body lifeless.

© 2025 Marieannette Pereira-Fernandes. All Rights Reserved.

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